Is this thing on?

I'm in an in-between part of life.
I'm wedged into this awkward place. Yearning for the past with everything I have, but impatient to get to the future already. A little bit sick of all the friends I had in high school but afraid I'll never find anyone I love more. Nostalgia is a knife in my stomach reminding me of how things were and how they are supposed to be right now.

In between jealous ex-girlfriend and good riddance.
Between the comfort of old embraces and the rush of new ones.
Leave me alone.
Please don't go.

 Trying to figure out what matters and what doesn't. What makes people good people and what makes bad people so bad.

Sick of trying to figure out everything and failing to figure out anything.

It's simply, really.
All I want is to have someone to sleep with. I don't need sex. Just arms around me at night telling me the nightmares aren't real and that I'll see my family soon. Reassuring me that I might not be a 10, but I'm at least a 7, and that's good enough. I need someone to accidentally elbow in the face and then pretend it didn't happen. Someone to say "please don't cry."  Someone to laugh at how gross I look when I wake up and sometimes we'll go to breakfast.
I haven't slept well in months.
Maybe blogging will help.